What is the most Jewish lunch you could bring to work?
We're glad you asked! (OK, no one actually asked, but eff it, we're glad anyway.) Excluding such obvious, yet unlikely brown bag choices such as corned beef, liverwurst, et al, our team of top tribe gastronomicists has devised the following mid-day meal:
Tuna sandwich (no celery, no apple, no bullshit) on rye, with a side of sour cream and chive potato chips and Dr. Brown's soda (we're partial to cream but feel free to pick your own) and an apple.
Chances are, if you're reading this website and you open your lunch, it's what you've got right now. Don't lie.
So yeah, the tuna sandwich is pretty Jew-y. So why wouldn't Starkist choose to have a Jewish mascot for their canned, mercury-filled, somewhat dolphin-y treat?
It doesn't hurt that Charlie the Tuna was also voiced by a Jew (Herschel Bernardi) or that the whole point of the commercials was that we wouldn't eat Charlie (despite his protestations, we grant you). So we're more than comfortable claiming the clammy fellow as one of our own.
And that solves that. As to the Jewiest lunch, well, some of you would argue that a Jew-ier lunch would be sardines on a pumpernickel roll with pretzels, a pickle, and an egg creme. But is anyone willing to sit next to you long enough to hear it?