If you went to elementary school in America, you can't help but be familiar with the Great American Songbook. Oh, the horrors it held inside!

The book, first published in 1972, contains what is considered the canon of American songs, meaning the best of the best from Broadway and Hollywood musicals. Meaning that poor American children have been tortured for now 40 years, trying to revive the tunes from "Oklahoma!" Oh, what a beautiful mornin'? More like oh, what an agonizing school year!

In any case, we're not gonna let our lack of musical talent deter from praising the masters who make up the songbook, who are — well, you know it! In the original book, six musicians had an entire chapter devoted to them. The token goy was Cole Porter, but the rest were all Jews: Harold Arlen, Irving Berlin, George Gershwin, Jerome Kern. And Richard Rodgers, whose partnership with first Lorenz Hart (Jew) and later Oscar Hammerstein (Somewhat of a Jew) was pretty much the foundation of American musical theater.

So yes, Rodgers gave us "Oklahoma!". But we won't hold that against him. Despite all the horrors...