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    Felix Frankfurter

    Jew Score:



    November 15, 1882 – February 22, 1965

    Do you realize that, at different times, the United States Supreme Court has had both a Justice Burger and a Justice Frankfurter? How judiciously delicious!

    Given the choice, we can definitely see the benefits of being on the Burger Court. There are so many options with burgers. So many varied and wonderful toppings. That can get you in trouble sometimes, like those weirdos who put pineapple on a burger. But as long as everyone stays sane, you can't really go wrong. Of course, we prefer the somewhat sacrilegious cheeseburger, but it's the Burger Court! We're sure they'll rule in our flavor, er favor.

    On the other hand though, there's much to be said for the Frankfurter Court. Especially knowing that it's a kosher Frankfurter. We do love a good frank, especially with mustard and kraut. And if we could trade that up for the occasional chili frank, well, we might just be in jurisprudence heaven.

    Yup, it's really win-win, America. So long as we don't get stuck on The Warren Court.

    Because who wants to spend all their time with a bunch of smelly rabbits?

    Verdict: Jew.

    August 23, 2012

    See Also

    Ruth Bader Ginsburg

    Louis Brandeis

    Stephen Breyer

    Benjamin Cardozo

    Charles Feltman
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