Would you believe that Queen Elizabeth II might — just might — have Jewish roots? No, we didn't believe it either.

Elizabeth's great-great-great-grandmother was horse-faced (sorry, she was!) Duchess Charlotte of Mecklenburg-Strelitz, Queen consort to George III. Charlotte's 7-times-great-grandmother was Portuguese noblewoman Margarita de Castro e Souza, who had traced her ancestry all the way back to King Afonso III of Portugal (ruled 1216-1260). Alfonso's lover, Madragana, would be Margarita's 4-times-great-grandmother. Now excuse us as we catch our breath.

So this Madragana is Elizabeth's 20th generation ancestor, and this Madragana might — just might — have been Jewish. Now, if she was, Elizabeth would be 1/2²⁰, or basically one in one millionth part Jewish. But we're not done. Oh, we are not done.

Madragana was christened. Her father was christened. His father... we have to go back to someone named Yahia Ben Yahi, or Jahia Negro Ibn Ya'isch, or Don Yahia "El Negro" (El Negro!!!), born in Cordoba in 1115, who was likely — yes, LIKELY — Madragana's great-great-great-grandfather, but definitely — yes, DEFINITELY — a Jew. With us so far?

So, if this El Negro was in fact Madragana's ancestor, this adds five more levels, pushing Elizabeth to 1/2²⁵, or one in 33 millionth part Jewish.

Whew. We're finally there. So where does that leave us? 25 generations from the Queen to a Jew...