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    Veronica De La Cruz

    Jew Score:
    7

    I3

    O1

    K3
    August 13, 1980 —

    Sometimes, we can't sleep. We lie there under the covers, stare at the ceiling, with pointless, convoluted thoughts running through our head. Sleep! Sleep! All we want is sleep! Sleep is not coming...

    So we toss and turn and count sheep, or sometimes camels, and get up to get a drink or water, and stretch our legs, and go back to counting camels, those pesky slow camels, could you move a little faster through that desert, please, five hundred eighty three, five hundred eighty four...

    And we say, fine, we're not sleeping tonight, so we move to the couch, and feel its cold leathery skin against ours, which is fine for a few moments before the couch melts into us, and turn on the TV, and finally see the time, and say to ourselves, wow, it's this late... or is it this early?

    So we flip through the channels, and wonder who else is watching the news at this hour, and see the sun's first rays feebly try to warm our window, and wonder how we will survive the day at work, and if only those stupid camels moved faster, six thousand seven hundred and twenty nine...

    Well, at least we found out that Veronica De La Cruz, the host of NBC's Early Today show (that's 4 AM for you sleepers), is, incredibly surprisingly, Jewish. Her father changed his last name from Schertz. So maybe something good came out from this insomnia...

    Eleven thousand three hundred and...

    Verdict: Borderline Jew.

    November 21, 2013

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