Let's say that you want to get a low maintenance pet. What are your options?

Everyone loves dogs, but they do require a lot of attention. Cats are out for that reason as well. (Besides, cats are pure evil. Don't get a cat.) Hamsters are popular, but we're not big fans of rodents. Birds? The chirping would drive us nuts. Snakes? Ewww. Fish? Now we're getting somewhere, but you gotta constantly clean the tank.

Ants.

Think of hours of enjoyment you will get from your own ant farm, with little maintenance required! You can watch ants build their society! You can watch them fight for survival! You can watch them burrow tunnels! You can... Well, there are many other things ants do!

Oh, we're not being ridiculous. Ant farms were all the rage in the 1960s, popularized by Milton Levine. (Jew, of course! Do you have to ask?) Kids couldn't get enough of those things. Heck, you can still buy one today...

So that's what we're gonna do. Ant farm it is.

It certainly makes more sense than snakes...