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    Lex Luthor

    Jew Score:
    6

    I0

    O2

    K4

    Meanwhile, in the swamps of New Jersey, the Legion of Doom plots their next nefarious scheme...

    Luthor: All right, all right. Everybody calm down. Let's go through the status. 110054, the weather machine. Where is that at?

    Cheetah: All is going puuurrrrfectly. Soon, the entire world will be covered in water!

    Luthor: OK, great. Don't forget to get your hours in before I close out the job. What about job 110064, that's the... ah yes, this is that thing that's going to turn the sun into a giant hunk of kryptonite?

    Braniac: I am still waiting for the estimate from the contractor.

    Luthor: Can't we just... push it through? We were supposed to have started construction on the posi-negi-matter ray last week!

    Solomon Grundy: Grrrrr... Grundy says no can do that! Everything has to be triple...

    Luthor: Triple bid. Yes, yes, yes. I know. Well get after this guy, would you, please? We're already behind schedule on the project. Anything else?

    Sinestro: Ahem, yes, well. Isn't anyone going to bring up the pernicious rumor regarding your... shall we say, heritage?

    Luthor: It's all nonsense. I'm not Jewish. It's just another antisemitic smear campaign.

    Bizarro: Me Bizarro. Me am Jewish.

    Gorilla Grodd: Don't be ridiculous. You're not Jewish, Bizarro.

    Bizarro: Me Bizarro no am sure. Me think me am Jewish.

    Giganta: Oh for pete's sake...

    Captain Cold: Wait, maybe he's doing that backwards talking thing again.

    Bizarro: Yes, Cold is wrong. Bizarro am Jewish.

    Luthor: Argh! All of this is giving me a colossal headache. I'm not Jewish. That's it. Can we please just move on now?

    Sinestro: Of course. Oh, also, before I forget, the moon laser has been delayed another week.

    Luthor: God...! Fine. You know what? Fine. Just... just let's all get back to work...

    Verdict: Not a Jew.

    April 18, 2014

    See Also

    Jesse Eisenberg

    Auric Goldfinger

    Gene Hackman

    Alvin Schwartz

    Superman
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