Let's say, completely hypothetically speaking, that you got a large family. Multiple children and what not. Where are you gonna go on vacation?

Drive around the country with kids screaming in the car? Might as well put a gun to your head. Take a plane ride overseas? You're not made of money. Take a trip down to the shore? That's just tacky.

So what about a cruise? It's not that expensive, the kids can't run away anywhere, and there is all the food you can eat! And, if you're into supporting Jewish businesses, Carnival, who controls 50% of the cruise market, was founded and owned by Jews, the Arison family! (Micky also owns that NBA bandwagon magnet, the Miami Heat.)

So pack those bags and head on down to the seaport! Get ready for days upon days, spent with your family in close quarters, shut off from the rest of humanity, shoveling food down your throat, enjoying third-rate Broadway knock-offs, wrestling senior citizens for the right to play shuffleboard, visiting indistinguishable islands, buying useless, gaudy knickknacks!

We guess we'll just stay home...