A short, curly haired European immigrant with overtly Semitic looks. An entertainer, performer and filmmaker of the highest quality. A virulent anti-Nazi who poked fun of Hitler and even played a Jew in one of his films. Charlie Chaplin certainly has all the credentials.

There's just one problem. He's not Jewish.

Guess it's too much to ask that a Chaplin abandon the church.

It's too bad, because by all accounts he's someone we'd be proud to have. In fact, he may have the highest Jew Score for a non-Jew ever. An underappreciated category, granted, but still. He's out-Jewing some pretty serious Jews out there, and he's not even allowed on the bema.

Chaplin empathized with Jews, was quite the Semitophile (to coin a concept), and his half-brother might have been Jewish.

But in the end, he's just a glazed ham in brisket's clothing.