G'day, Jew or Not Jew,

I'm writing about your Nicole Kidman profile.

Do you really need to profile Nicole? I know there's a persistent rumor on the Internet that she has Jewish heritage, but, come on, everyone knows it's false. What you need to do is point out that she is AUSTRALIAN.

I know, she was born in Honolulu, and has lived in the US for a while, and was even married to that crazy yank Tom Cruise. But she is AUSTRALIAN. Her parents are AUSTRALIAN. She was raised in AUSTRALIA. One of her homes is in AUSTRALIA. Her current husband is... well, born in New Zealand, but he is also AUSTRALIAN. She is an Australian Living Treasure. Look it up, it's a thing. AUSTRALIAN LIVING TREASURE!

Come on, Jew or Not Jew, turn your website into AustralianOrNotAustralian.com. Nicole would be at least a 14!

Fine.