When you watch "The Exorcist" (directed by William Friedkin, Jew), you see it as a work of fiction. Not so, says the Catholic church!

According to the church, demonic possession is all too real. We're not making this up! There are guidelines issued by the Vatican, and a list of signs of possession that include "supernatural strength", "levitation", "hatred of religious items", and, obviously, "loss of appetite".

You can even buy a home exorcism kit on the Internet! (We're not sure if it comes with holy water, or you have to make your own.) Sigh. Silly, silly Catholics...

Let us assure you, Catholics, you are NOT possessed. (Yes, even those who suffer from loss of appetite.) And if you're seeing demons?

Those are NOT real, we promise!