Brace yourself. Pokemon is Zionist.

No, we didn't make this up. So says fatwa #21,758. Yes, they number these things.

According to the fatwa, not only does Pokemon promote gambling (which is evil), not only does it promote evolution (which is evil), it also promotes Shintoism, Christianity, Freemasonry (which is evil, evil, evil), and.. wait for it...

GLOBAL ZIONISM.

Don't take our word, listen to the fatwa:

The symbols and logos of devious religions and organizations are used, [including] the six-pointed star: You rarely find a card that does not contain such a star. It is associated with Judaism, the logo and sign of the State of Israel.

Six-pointed stars? We're far from being Pokemon masters ourselves, so we did a quick search, and... well, they are right!

Here's a random card, the delightfully named Magikarp...

Do you see that? Not one, but two six-pointed stars! That will teach us to ever question a fatwa!

We wonder what they say about Dungeons & Dragons...