In the future, we'll all live in peace and harmony and wear shiny, primary colored shirts. We'll have dashing allies, dastardly foes, high adventure on the inky, star-filled seas. And we'll have bright, bold, heroes cut from a comic-book cloth.

And they'll be Jews.

William Shatner himself vacillates from a minor embarrassment to full-on painful one depending on what he's doing. But he's Captain James T. Kirk! What more do you want?

It doesn't matter how many Elton John songs you butcher, when you were Captain of the Enterprise you get an infinite free pass. Does that mean pretending that Shatner and Kirk are one and the same? Probably. But we're willing to make that sacrifice.

He played one of the greatest American fictional icons since Superman, and he's one of ours. That's good enough for us.

Oh yeah, and he'd kick Picard's ass.