Al Bundy once scored four touchdowns in one game. The NFL record belongs to the legendary Gale Sayers, six. In college, Howard Griffith scored eight for the University of Illinois. Eight touchdowns, wow!

But that's not really the record. The real college record comes from the days that preceded the creation of the forward pass. It was set in 1890 by quarterback Philip King of Princeton in a 85:0 win over Columbia. He scored not eight, not nine, not ten, but ELEVEN touchdowns! Poor Columbia...

King was one of college football's early stars. The three-time All-American (plus once in baseball, to boot) captained Princeton to an undefeated season. He later coached the University of Wisconsin to three conference titles, and was posthumously named to the College Football Hall of Fame in 1962.

The eleven touchdowns might not be the most remarkable number about King: he stood a measly 5'5"! So, short Jewish kids, when someone tells you that you'll never grow to be a sports star, tell them about King!

Oh, who are we kidding...