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    Elisha

    Jew Score:
    11

    I5

    O4

    K2

    It's been a while since we dove into the treasure trove that is the Bible. Which story should we tell today?

    How about Elisha? No, not Elijah, Elisha. He was actually Elijah's student and a master prophet himself. He also performed a bunch of miracles (purifying drinking water, raising the dead and what not): twice as many as his teacher. Take that, Elijah! Some miracle worker you are.

    (Before we get to the punchline, can we talk about raising the dead, just a bit? Perhaps these miracle workers were not exactly miracle workers, but just really good doctors. And purifying drinking water? You just boil it. Failing that, run it through a filter. Moving on.)

    Anyways, Elisha was wandering around Judea, as your average prophet should, when a group of young men (42 of them, to be exact) made fun of him. And what did our hero do? Did he cower? Did he insult them back? Did he simply ignore and carry on, like a normal adult would? No, no, no.

    Elisha called on his friends: two bears, who promptly tore the 42 youths into pieces. The Bible, ladies and gentlemen!

    And what was the great insult that these unfortunate youths hurled upon Elisha?

    They made fun of his baldness.

    Verdict: Sadly, a Jew.

    August 23, 2021

    See Also

    Berenstain Bears

    Ted Danson

    Ehud

    Elijah

    Lazarus
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