For our young Jewish readers dreaming of NFL stardom, we got bad news: it's not likely to happen. There are 1700 active players in the National Football League. Of those, maybe five are Jewish. Definitely not more than ten. That's half a percent, at best.
But don't fret, young football fans. Of the 32 NFL teams, nine are owned by Jews outright: Atlanta (Arthur Blank), Cleveland (Randy Lerner), Indianapolis (Jim Irsay), Minnesota (Zygi Wilf), New England (Robert Kraft), Oakland (Al Davis), Philadelphia (Jeffrey Lurie), Tampa Bay (Malcolm Glazer), and Washington (Daniel Snyder). And two, Miami and the New York Giants, are half-owned by Jews: Stephen Ross and Steve Tisch, respectively.
Put it all together, and that's 31%! Talk about good odds! So, young fans, drop those footballs and stop dreaming of becoming Peyton Manning, and pick up those glasses and start dreaming of becoming Daniel Snyder.
Just think of the possibilities: you can hire and fire coaches yearly, overspend on useless free agents, charge fans for attending practice, and cling to your team's racist moniker! A career as a power-hungry football mogul is within your grasp... a disposable billion dollars would help, of course.