It's come to this. We're profiling the Jew Lawyer.

(Before our readers get on our case about profiling a minor character from a cable television show as opposed to some hot random actress they've been bombarding us with (we're talking to you, Schlomo!), let us tell you a story. Back in 2009, before America entered the insane asylum and this website was still in its infancy, its creators argued about profiling Tim Whatley, the dentist from "Seinfeld". You know, the Bryan Cranston character who converts to Judaism. He appears in five episodes. At the end, we profiled Tim, because... why not? So here we have a character from "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia", a show that has been often compared to "Seinfeld". He appears in six episodes! So, yeah, we're profiling the Jew Lawyer.)

His name is not "The Jew Lawyer", of course; his real name is actually never given on the show. (In credits, he is referred to as "Attorney".) He is called that because of Frank's (Danny DeVito's character) very-uncasual antisemitism. The Jew Lawyer claims he is not Jewish, which doesn't stop Dee from digging up his family ancestry to discover that his great-grandmother was named Abramowitz.

Now, the Jew Lawyer is played by Brian Unger (you might remember him from the early years of "The Daily Show"), who is not Jewish. The character does not deny that Abramowitz grandmother, but that doesn't necessarily prove Jewish ancestry. (Heck, back in 2012, when this website was in its childhood, we profiled NFL player Danny Abramowicz because we assumed he was Jewish. He wasn't. (Sure, Abramowicz vs Abramowitz, but we're spilling hairs here.))

So, we will have to take the Jew Lawyer's word and assume that he is not a Jew. But since an Abramowitz is more likely to be a Jew than not, let's infer that he likely has Jewish ancestry.

(We're not gonna profile that hot random actress, Schlomo.)