It's the baseball offseason and our favorite teams are refurbishing their rosters with exciting new players. It's an exciting time, imagining who we might be rooting for come April. In fact, all of this trading and free agent signing has us wanting to get in on the act. So we've been working on a couple of key acquisitions.

For instance, Winnie-the-Pooh. He's not Jewish, but we sure would like to bring him on to the team. Just as importantly, we think he'd be willing to waive his no-trade clause for us. After all, he's got a Hanukkah book out. And his adventures have already been translated into Yiddish. (Vini-der-Pu! Now available on Amazon.com for $9!)

So whaddaya say goyim? We'll give you Fievel Mousekewitz — who you seem to want so badly for some reason or another — and we'll take Pooh.

Winnie-the-Jew. How does it get more perfect than that? Not to worry, though, we'll let you keep Tigger, Rabbit, and, of course, Piglet.