Today is Friday the 13th, so let's talk about something really scary.

Waaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy back when Jew or Not Jew was just beginning — and the site was written by highly evolved pterodactyls — we had a dilemma: The scores only really made sense if we could put them in context. What did a perfect score really mean? We needed to pick a shining example, a Jew above and beyond all other Jews who would represent anything and everything we could ever want.

We chose Mel Brooks.

But what if we hadn't? Certainly there were other options. And here's where things get truly terrifying. What if we chose Barbra Streisand?

After all, to many people, Barbra represents the Jewish archetype more than any other famous person. The grating, nasal voice. The grand triumphal schnoz. Glitz. Glamor. Gevalt!

We can only shudder at the result. The Musicians and Singers category would be 15 pages long. We'd spend our days debating a potential profile's Diva Quotient. Other renowned nostril caverns like Sarah Jessica Parker would see their scores shoot into the stratosphere. And poor poor Mel Brooks would be relegated to an afterthought: profile number 500 and a score of 13. Too much substance and not enough style for the Barbra Streisand JONJ.

But, fortunately for all our sakes, we did no such thing. Those clever, charming, dedicated pterodactyls (quite handsome, too, so we've been told) made the right choice way back when and it's one we follow to this day.

Still, it's enough to give you nightmares for weeks, isn't it?