In Soviet Russia, this website reads you!

Yakov Smirnoff used to open for Jerry Seinfeld. Today, Seinfeld is probably the best-known comedian in America, and a multi-millionaire many times over. Smirnoff owns his own theater in Branson, Missouri.

Yakov Smirnoff used to room with Andrew Dice Clay. Today, Clay is the definition of "washed-up". Smirnoff owns his own theater in Branson, Missouri.

It's all relative when you look at Yakov. Sure, he is no Seinfeld, but he is also no Clay. And we guess it's good that he's still working (be it in Branson, Missouri), that he's found the audience to stretch his "In Soviet Russia" jokes (be it in Branson, Missouri), that there are still some people out there who are willing to laugh at a Jew parading in traditional Russian clothing (be it in Branson, Missouri).

And to think about it, it's not really the worst fate for a former art professor and penniless immigrant. But do we really want Smirnoff to be the face of Russian-speaking Jews in America?

Well, at least he owns his own theater. In Branson, Missouri.