When it comes to writing, J.D. Salinger knew when to quit. So after he penned "Catcher in the Rye", the once-prolific author became a recluse, not publishing any new work since 1965, not granting an interview since 1974. Still, with "Catcher" considered one of the great, if not the greatest, novels in American history, his decision to stop while at the top can be understandable.

When it comes to religion, Salinger didn't know when to quit. In a strange twist, his goyishe mother changed her name from Marie to Miriam in order to pass for Jewish. So J.D. grew up Jewish and was even bar mitzvahed. He later became Buddhist; if he would have stopped there, we wouldn't complain too much. It's the decisions he made afterward that sent this train downhill.

Scientology. Christian Science. Megadoses of Vitamin C. Vomiting. Speaking in tongues. Sitting in something called an "orgone box".

Oh. And urine therapy. That's right, drinking your own urine. Now is it obvious why we're not so happy to have him?

You should have known when to quit, J.D.