We apologize, dear JONJ readers. We know that you're expecting a new profile today, but... we just have a splitting headache. It's like an entire platoon wearing iron-toed boots is marching on our head.

Maybe an aspirin will help. A glass of water... There we go.

(Two hours later) Wow, that did the trick. Aspirin truly is the wonder drug. So where were we... Yes, today's JONJ profile. Let's see who is on schedule... Corey Haim?

Well, Mr. Haim can wait. Let's keep talking about asprin, and more specifically, about aspirin inventor Arthur Eichengrun. A Jew who worked for German pharmaceutical giant Bayer, Eichengrun developed the wonder drug in 1897... but never got the credit for it.

No, the credit went instead to ethnic German Felix Hoffmann. Apparently, Bayer did not want a Jew to walk away with the laurels. Even when Eichengrun's claim was re-examined by non-partial University of Strathclyde in Glasgow 50 years after the scientist's death, in 1999, Bayer stuck to their guns, denying the Jew his rightful place in history.

But that's all right. Here we know who the true inventor of aspirin is. And even if Germans denied Eichengrun that, they could never deny him the invention of protargol... used to treat gonorrhea.

Which, unlike a headache, we don't have to worry about.

We hope.