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    Kristen Stewart

    Jew Score:
    9

    I3

    O2

    K4
    April 9, 1990 —

    We're sorry, dear readers, if we haven't been responding to your emails recently. You see, for the past few days, we've been camping out in front of our local movie theater so that we can catch the midnight premiere of the next chapter of the Twilight saga, "New Moon".

    Yes, we know, it's quite unexpected. We never thought we'd get into Twilight, yet here we were, in a sleeping bag next to a bunch of teenage vampires. And why? Well, a couple of websites listed Kristen Stewart (she plays Bella Swan, the lead) as Jewish. And since the great source for who is Jewish and who is not, Jew or Not Jew, was hum on the matter, we decided that this wild rumor was good enough for us.

    And then, after two cold November New Jersey nights, we remembered... We run Jew or Not Jew! So we quickly took out our iPhone, and did some research. And... well... Maybe people mistook Kristen for her Jewish character in "Adventureland", despite co-star Jesse Eisenberg calling her "the least Jewish girl I know"? And here's Kristen photographed wearing a cross, and... did we mention her name is KRISTEN?

    Well, what do you know. Kristen is not exactly Jewish, but she did her ancestry research and found out that her mother, who was adopted, was half Jewish... which makes Kristen a quarter!

    And then we realized... what the hell are we doing here? Twilight? Bella Swan? Kristen Stewart? How old are we again?

    Verdict: Borderline Jew.

    November 20, 2009

    See Also

    Theda Bara

    Jesse Eisenberg

    Nikki Reed

    Twilight Sparkle

    St. Vincent
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