Ah, Oscar the Grouch. Sesame Street's lovable curmudgeon. Jewish? Let's figure it out.

Perhaps a look at Oscar's family tree can help us. His mother is... Mrs. Grouch. No first name. His father is... never seen. There are also two of his grandparents, named Grandpa and Granny Grouch. Well, that's not helping.

But what's this? Oscar has a cousin, Moishe Oofnik, the star of Israel's version of Sesame Street? Well, that's just terrific. For if one has a Jewish first cousin, they have to share one set of grandparents, meaning that one must be at least half Jewish himself. (Yes, we know. Moishe's parent who is related to Oscar might have converted. Or Moishe and Oscar might not be first cousins, but rather second or even third. Or... Well, whatever. Moishe = Jew. Oscar = Moishe's cousin = at least half Jew.)

Now that that's established, since we can't assume that Oscar is 100% Jewish, let's try to figure out if we go with a "Jew" or "Borderline Jew" verdict. Does Oscar self-identify as Jewish? Not as far as we know. (Although he was named after a Jew, folk singer Oscar Brand.) Does he practice other religions? Again, a no. Living in a trash can is more of a philosophy (a disciple of Diogenes perhaps?) So... hmmm.

Well, Oscar does appear in at least three Sesame Street Christmas Specials. Not good, although it doesn't mean he's not Jewish. (Paging Neil Diamond!)

And what's this? In "Christmas Eve on Sesame Street", Oscar sings "I Hate Christmas"? Well, that settles it!