Today is Christmas. And while all the gentile boys and girls unwrap their G.I. Joes and Barbies (or, to be more current, their Nintendo Wiis), we Jewish kids eat Chinese food and try to figure out what to do with eight-days-worth of tube socks we just received for Hanukkah.

Oh, Hanukkah! The festival of light! Tube socks and dreidels, menorahs and chocolate coins! And Adam Sandler's song, written for all us Jewish boys and girls. So,

When you feel like the only kid in town
Without a Christmas tree,
Here's a list of people who are Jewish just like you and me...

Thank you, Adam Sandler. No matter how many terrible movies you've headlined, we'll always have the Hanukkah song. For in the dark days before there was JONJ, how else could people find out what movie star was Jewish? It's just too bad that your song is becoming irrelevant as we add more and more profiles to this website. Like this one, for instance.

Now excuse us. We need to finish our General Tso's chicken.