Today, we're gonna look at the top 10 JONJ searches over the past year to see if there is a worthy profile among them. Gotta give the readers what they want, after all. Ideally, we like to pick subjects who someone out there might think are Jewish.
#1. Barack Obama. Oh boy. What a start. It's gonna be this kind of day, isn't it? (Dear readers: hidden Muslim, not hidden Jew. Duh.)
#2. Bill Gates. Seriously? Sure, he's rich, but... come on. Bill Gates?
#3. Steve Martin. OK. Funny guy, sure. Jews are funny. But we just recently mentioned he is not Jewish (see Steve Carell). Moving on.
#4. Tom Cruise. You're kidding, right?
#5. George Bush. Crap. Come on, dear readers. George freakin' Bush? In what world could he (doesn't matter which one, father or W.) could be Jewish?
#6. Vladimir Putin. Well, we did profile his
puppet successor, Dmitry Medvedev... But Russians LOVE Putin, so they'll never make up a Jewish rumor about him.
#7. Brad Pitt. No, really, it's this kind of a day.
#8. John Lennon. There actually was a rumor that Ringo was Jewish, but has there ever been such a rumor about John? Paul did have a Jewish wife... Yoko Ono, however? Pass.
#9. Al Pacino. He did play Shylock in "The Merchant of Venice", but let's see if we can do one better...
#10. Megan Fox. Fine, you twisted our arm. Let's give the readers what they want for a change!