You think you had a messed up childhood? Liev Schreiber's reads like something out of Dickens.

When he was one, his WASP father and Jewish mother ran away to a sex commune. Soon the two split, and the father hired detectives to track Liev, ending up in kidnapping him.

Wait, there's more. After the obvious divorce, Liev and his mother lived in New York City. In dilapidated buildings, in apartments with no hot water, electricity, or beds. The mother supported them by driving a taxi and making puppets (well, at least they had some form of entertainment. Creepy, creepy entertainment).

It keeps going. When Liev was 12, they moved to a Hindu commune (yes, another commune, but probably with less sex) and he was forced by his mother to take a Hindu name.

And that's not even the worst part. His primary education ended in Friends Seminary, a Quaker school. (The horror!)

And through all of that, Liev stayed Jewish.

Bravo, Mr. Schreiber. Bravo.