Donald Trump is clearly not Jewish (although he uses Ivanka's family as an antisemitic shield), so let's turn this profile over to our friends at BaldOrNotBald.com...

Donald Trump might be a detestable scumbag, a treacherous nincompoop, a fascist hate-monger, a jiggling tub of orange marmalade... we're not here to debate any of that. We're here to debate one and one thing: is Donald Trump bald?

To the naked eye, he does not seem to be. After all, that head is covered by a thick layer of what appears to be hair. "Appears" is the key word here.

Let a gust of wind blow, and that supposed hair shows what is hidden underneath: a ginormous bald spot that would make Gorbachev proud. And yet, he goes to great lengths to cover it up with a weave as fraudulent as the man himself. (But we digress...)

Sigh. If only his lies were limited to his baldness.