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    Lauren Bacall

    Jew Score:
    12

    I5

    O3

    K4
    (Betty Joan Perske)
    September 16, 1924 – August 12, 2014

    Oh, Jewish parents. How we love ye.

    How loving. How involved. How caring. How supportive of the things that we do that you agree with... Yep, there's nothing better than a happy Jewish parent. And as soon as we find one, we'll go ahead and confirm that for you.

    Take Lauren Bacall, for example. She had Jewish parents. But were they proud of her star studded, show stopping silver screen performances? Her multitudes of fans? Awards? Famous lovers (OK, definitely not that last one)?

    Probably not. No, chances are all she got from Aba and Ema was "Why can't you be more like your cousin, Shimon?"

    Y'know, Shimon Peres? The former Prime Minister of Israel? Yikes. Yeah, try living up to that family standard.

    "Doesn't Shimon look regal on the dais with the rest of the world leaders, honey?"

    "Did you hear, your cousin Shimon invited his whole family to Camp David this year, the mensch."

    "Oy. Would it kill you to stop being so selfish and go out and do something for your people like your Cousin Shimon before I'm deep in my grave with your Uncle Chaim G-d rest his soul?"

    And so forth. No, the only comfort we can offer to poor Lauren is this: chances are her exalted Cousin Shimon got the same kvetching from his parents, too.

    After all, he didn't become a doctor.

    Verdict: Jew.

    August 25, 2010

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