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    About the Jew Score
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    Ike Turner

    Jew Score:



    November 5, 1931 – December 12, 2007

    When we started this thing, we thought the hardest score to attain would be the perfect 15 (what do you want? We're Jews. Says so in the site name and everything). But we've actually managed to be fairly generous with the 15s over the years. So what is the rarest of all scores? The unattainable beyond all other unattainables?

    The triple zero.

    To this point, we've only bestowed it three times: Stalin, Hitler, Gibson. You think about the number of people on this site who are so not Jewish by birth, are SO not Jewish in appearance, and are SO completely terrible human beings and yet we still end up with only three triple-zeroes. Man. You've really got to do something unique to go bagel-bagel-bagel (Ah, irony....).

    So can Ike Turner add a fourth name to the roll of shame? A true historical villain both in reputation and in deed ("The King of the Woman Beaters" as dubbed by Chris Rock), we actually argued he might be the first since Hitler to deserve the -1 K (as you can see, we lost. How did we argue with ourselves and lose? Again — Jews — says it right on the top of the site).

    And, we're sorry, but anyone who did what Ike did is someone we refuse to say thinks or acts anything like a Jew. Apparently someone didn't agree, though, because Ike converted to a card carrying member of the Tribe.

    So Ike gets a three and the threesome get to stay all by themselves, isolated in ignominy. It's probably for the best. Accentuate the positive and all that jazz, er klezmer.

    But don't think that stopped us from searching high and low for a fourth member at this very moment.

    Verdict: Sadly, a Jew.

    November 5, 2010

    See Also

    Mel Gibson

    Adolf Hitler

    Little Richard

    Joseph Stalin

    Charles Taylor
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