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    Erich von Stroheim

    Jew Score:
    8

    I4

    O1

    K3
    September 22, 1885 – May 12, 1957

    Hollywood, 1935. Young screenwriter Harry Hubert has been called by producer Louis Lipton to discuss his newest script.

    Lipton: Harry, my boy, this is terrific!

    Hubert: Do you like it?

    Lipton: Best script I read all year!

    Hubert: That is great to hear...

    Lipton: We just have to make a couple of changes before we can make it into a film.

    Hubert: Oh.

    Lipton: Nothing major, my boy! Nothing to worry about!

    Hubert: What exactly are you talking about?

    Lipton: This villain you have in there. Love it. Love everything about him.

    Hubert: Wonderful!

    Lipton: Just one thing, my boy. Why is the villain wearing a metal suit through the whole picture?

    Hubert: Well, he's terribly disfigured...

    Lipton: We can't have that, Hyman!

    Hubert: Harry, Mr. Lipton.

    Lipton: Err... Right, Harry. We can't have a cripple on the screen! You think the audience wants to see a cripple?

    Hubert: Well, they won't, he's wearing a metal suit...

    Lipton: Think about it, Harry. I am paying you to think, am I not?

    Hubert: Well...

    Lipton: What actor am I gonna get to wear a metal suit for the entire motion picture?

    Hubert: I was thinking...

    Lipton: You were thinking? Am I paying you to think?

    Hubert: Well...

    Lipton: No actor will wear that thing, Hyman.

    Hubert: It's Harry, Mr. Lipton.

    Lipton: Sure it is... Stop interrupting! Where was I?

    Hubert: The suit...

    Lipton: Yes, the suit! Ditch the suit, Harry.

    Hubert: But...

    Lipton: I don't want to hear any buts, my boy! Do you know who I got lined up to play the villain in this picture?

    Hubert: No...

    Lipton: Von Stronheim!

    Hubert: Erich von Stronheim? The silent actor?

    Lipton: The one and the same! Such a villainous face! He's been doing quite a few talkies now.

    Hubert: But... he is a Jew who always plays Germans.

    Lipton: What do you have against Germans?

    Hubert: Well, I don't...

    Lipton: You and your people! Germans this, Germans that!

    Hubert: What I mean, Mr. Lipton, is that Mr. von Stronheim has a distinctive German look which will not work with the picture's setting...

    Lipton: You are not thinking, Harry!

    Hubert: I am not thinking?

    Lipton: We change the setting!

    Hubert: Oh?

    Lipton: Germany, 1924. She is a down-on-her-luck opera singer. He is her brother, a hapless actor. In comes von Stronheim... a benevolent benefactor? Someone who is after something sinister? That's Hollywood gold, my boy!

    Hubert: But... but...

    Lipton: What are you babbling about, my boy?

    Hubert: Well, in my script, the villain is revealed to be the father...

    Lipton: HE IS?

    Hubert: Yes, right here at the end of the second act...

    Lipton: Well, we can't have that! Can you imagine, von Stronheim trying to seduce his own daughter!

    Hubert: Seduce who now?

    Lipton: Don't worry about the details, my boy! And the names, the names have to go. Vader? What kind of a name is that?

    Hubert: But, but...

    Lipton: Just minor, minor changes, my boy! Such a terrific script. We'll be in touch!

    Hubert: ...Thank you?

    Lipton: No, thank you, Harry! You watch, this will be the most talked about picture of the year, if my name is not Leo Lieber... — Louis Lipton!

    Verdict: Jew.

    March 30, 2011

    See Also

    Ricardo Cortez

    Werner Klemperer

    Fritz Lang

    Christoph Waltz

    Johnny Weissmuller
    © Jew or Not Jew, 2006-2017. j...@jewornotjew.com.