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    Noah

    Jew Score:
    5

    I0

    O1

    K4

    We love our extended family... Yes, really.

    They sure are all great. Even Uncle Reuben's obsession with Revolutionary War reenactment and Aunt Miriam's constant belching can be found endearing. In small doses.

    We just wouldn't want to live with them.

    Can you imagine? You and your entire family stuck inside close quarters for, oh, just to throw it out there, 40 days and 40 nights? You having to share a bunk bed with the loudly snoring Cousin Herschel? (Meanwhile, your sister got the luck of the draw with Cousin Esther. Could we switch? For one night, please? — She's your cousin! — See what being stuck together in close quarters does?)

    Now imagine dropping that entire family on a boat, in the middle of the ocean, and filling that boat to the top with various smelly, loud, and not entirely delicious animals.

    Worst. Family. Reunion. Ever.

    Verdict: Not a Jew.

    April 18, 2011

    See Also

    Elijah

    Queen Esther

    Ham

    Jonah

    Methuselah
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