Oh, goody! JONJ is gonna write about ham! The forbidden fruit!

Settle down. No, not this ham. This Ham.

That would be Ham, son of Noah. As in the Curse of Ham.

Here's a recap for those who don't remember Sunday school: Noah and his family are stuck on a boat for a while. Something happens while Noah is sleeping. For that, Noah curses his son Ham.

Quick sidetrack: in the Bible, Noah doesn't actually curse Ham. He curses Canaan, Ham's son. Why he does that, and not Ham himself, has been cause for never-ending debate. It's clear that it was Ham who transgressed. But what was the nature of his transgression?

Well, rabbinical scholars have argued about that one as well. The three most popular scenarios:

Ham slept with his mother

Ham raped Noah

Ham castrated Noah

Whoa. We'd love to be a fly on the wall during that rabbinical argument. That Bible is full of crazy shit, isn't it?

In any case, Noah and Ham preceded Abraham, so: Not a Jew. And obviously, neither is ham... But that goes without saying.