In 2004, the classical dramatic program The OC premiered on FOX, introducing us to two beautiful actresses who were both immediately crowned as future stars: Mischa Barton and Olivia Wilde (for their looks, duh! Discussions of talent are reserved for the unattractive).

Well, seven years have passed and unless you're a dead, entertainment-hating eunuch you know who Olivia Wilde is. Mischa Barton? Who?

What happened?

Well, some would go back to that T word we mentioned before. Ms. Wilde has gone on to play the enigmatic Thirteen on House (recommend) and the enigmatic love interest in the new Tron film (do not recommend). Ms. Barton has gone on to... we dunno, actually. Date? Eat pie? Well, she's doing something, we imagine.

Or perhaps it's merely a matter of behavior. Ms. Barton chewed through her new-found fame like it was in danger of going stale (which, as it turns out, it was) — drinking, drugging, jail time spending, etc. Ms. Wilde on the other hand, didn't.

Or maybe, just maybe, it's this: Mischa Barton, despite having a first name that sounds halfway Jewish-ish? Not a Jew. Olivia Wilde, who has a name that sounds completely not Jewish at all? A smidge of Jewish blood.

There are certainly dumber reasons for fame, right? Of course, all the Judaism in the world hasn't done a damn thing for the other Orange County chick, Rachel Bilson, so maybe it only applies in certain cases.

Like, y'know, the ones where we want it to.