Elizabeth Israel was so old...

Everyone, now!

HOW OLD WAS SHE?

Well, that's the thing. Nobody knows for sure. Israel, a woman from Dominica (NOT the Dominican Republic. Dominica. A small island in the Caribbean. They have their own flag and everything.), was purported 128 at the time of her death, making her the world's oldest person. We say "purported", because her birthdate was never officially recorded, so the Guinness Book of World Records rejected her. But she claimed to be that age, so who are we to argue with Israel?

Oh? Israel was her maiden name? Her claim is based on a baptismal certificate, possibly forged? Her record was an attempt by others to promote Dominica as a longevity haven? Dominica? Can anyone even find it on a map? And are we sure it's a country? Really?

And why on earth did we write this profile in the first place?