Once upon a time, there was a nice Jewish boy born in a land far far away, called England. That boy grew and grew, and came to a great land called America. He grew and grew some more, and became mayor of the great town of Cincinnati in the great state of Ohio.

And all was so great.

But then, a dark spell was cast over the boy. A great beast called "Television" took control of our hero. And he was no longer nice Jewish boy, mayor of Cincinnati. He was now bad Jewish man, king of Trash TV.

And all was not so great.

And the bad Jewish man ruled the kingdom for years and years. Oh, what a diverse kingdom it was! Rednecks and prostitutes, she-males and midgets...

And all was so horrible.

But then the network gods spoke, and sent down their Angel of Cancellation. The angel flew down and swung his sword...

And all became so scary.

But the angel missed, so he swung again, and missed, and swung again, and kept missing and missing! Nothing could cancel the Jewish king, so soon the network gods called the angel home.

But by then, all became so irrelevant...