Beelzebub: You rang, your lordship?
Satan: Yes, Bub. There is some trouble being reported in Sector NRH-6270.
Beelzebub: Sure thing, boss. Let me just fire up the Hell Maps app on my iPad... Yes... there are some agitators. Again.
Beelzebub: Yes, your lordship. It's that Alinsky fellow raising the damned.
Satan: Alinsky, Alinsky... Why does that sound familiar?
Beelzebub: When he was alive, he pretty much created community organizing.
Satan: Oh yes, now I remember. Hillary wrote her thesis on him, didn't she?
Beelzebub: Yes, boss! I'm astonished with your recollection!
Satan: She and I exchange emails from time to time. But why is that Alinsky here? In life, he was a good Jew.
Beelzebub: Well, he gave that interview to Playboy in 1972...
Beelzebub: It's a magazine...
Satan: I KNOW WHAT PLAYBOY IS! I never actually read the articles.
Beelzebub: Well, in the March 1972 issue...
Satan: Ah... Ellen Michaels.
Beelzebub: Yes, she was the centerfold... Quite lovely, if I might add. Anyway, Alinsky said, "if there is an afterlife, and I have anything to say about it, I will unreservedly choose to go to hell."
Satan: So he chose to come here...
Beelzebub: "Hell would be heaven for me," he said. "All my life I've been with the have-nots. If you're a have-not in hell, you're short of virtue. Once I get into hell, I'll start organizing the have-nots over there. They're my kind of people."
Satan: Well, I'll be damned!
Beelzebub: So what do we do, your lordship?
Satan: Call upstairs and offer them a trade. We'll give them Alinsky...
Beelzebub: I can do that, boss, but you'll know they'll offer Gallagher in return again.
Satan: Good point, Bub. Cancel the call. Agitators we might find a way to deal with. But Gallagher here? That will be the death of me.