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    Hugh Hefner

    Jew Score:



    April 9, 1926 – September 27, 2017

    While we at JONJ are very busy at our jobs of rating Jews and (not) working to make money, we do have other, very important, roles in the world economy. For instance, inventing important, totally mathematically validated statistics.

    Today's new metric? MPTP, or Mean Pages To Porn. Say you search for something in Google Images, MPTP measures the number of pages you scroll through before you hit porn. So a page and a half equals an MPTP of 1.5. Got it?

    It didn't take long, did it? Back when we were teens, coming across a picture of something that looked like a part of a boob was cause for a three day celebration (aka, Tit-mas). Nowadays you search for beloved Sesame Street character Big Bird and get a picture of a dong by page six. SIX!

    So yeah, there was a time when Hugh Hefner was the master of our domains. The king of all our castles. In those heady times when catching a picture of a naked woman (or dude, we're equal opportunity pervs here) was measured in years, not moments, the Playboy's playboy as a potential Jew would have been something we'd chase with the fervor usually reserved for... well... naked pictures.

    Nowadays? When most 11-year-old boys have seen more vagina in their short time on Earth than we will in our entire lifetimes?


    Verdict: Not a Jew.

    June 19, 2012

    See Also

    Cindy Fuller

    Jenna Jameson

    Gloria Steinem

    Lindsey Vuolo

    Nikki Ziering
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