A round of applause as we return to Atlantic City for the fourth annual Jewies, the Jew or Not Jew awards. Atlantic City... it used to be somewhat passable!
Please bear with us, as we are halfway through the television portion of our awards. All these meshuggenah new categories this year... including this one: Best Performance by a Jew Playing an Italian in a Sitcom. Seriously, what shmendrik came up with that one?
Your nominees: Henry Winkler as Arthur Fonzarelli, "Happy Days". Brad Garrett as Robert Barone, "Everybody Loves Raymond". Rhea Perlman as Carla Tortelli, "Cheers". Jason Alexander as George Costanza, "Seinfeld".
And the winner is... Brad Garrett! Sorry, Jason, it looks like you lost yet another award. Apparently, our voters consulted the esteemed Jew or Not Jew website and concluded that George was half Jewish, rendering Mr. Alexander ineligible. Still, a round of applause for Mr. Garrett! We never actually watched his show, too many goyim for our taste, but we're sure it wasn't bad!
And now, moving on to Best Performance by a Jew Playing a German... Oy, gevalt!