Has it really been five years for the Jewies, the Jew or Not Jew Awards? So many winners, so many memories...
This year's awards are brought to you by Hyman's Canned Pastrami! When you absolutely have to have pastrami, break open a Hyman's!
Let's get straight to it, the nominees for best Jewish reggae artist are... Yes, Jewish reggae artist! Why the confused looks?
The nominees: Matisyahu, obviously. Sean Paul... you don't get the nickname "King of Israel" without being part Jewish. Cousin Izzy... no, that's not his performing name. Izzy Stupnick, my cousin. He's quite the reggae master. What, you thought we can get more than two real nominees?
And the winner is... Cousin Izzy! What a historic upset! Say hello to your mother for me, Izzy! Your award comes with a year's supply of Hyman's Canned Pastrami... Now with less metal aftertaste!
Please stay tuned for the best Jewish barbershop quartet award! Oy, this is gonna be a long night...