The Wizard of Oz. A timeless fairy tale? An allegory about the gold standard? A feminist fable? A statement on the importance of personal hygiene? A creepy story about psychopathic witches and genetically engineered monkeys?

One thing we can agree on: there are no Jews in there. The only character we can sort of make the case for is the Wizard himself, but in one of the books, his full name is revealed as Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkel Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs. He does have an Isaac in there, but no. Plus, he's from Nebraska. Not a Jew.

What about the actors in the movie? They have been so identified with these characters that perhaps we can transpose their Jewishness? After all, we did so with Daffy Duck and Fred Flinstone.

Let's see. Not Dorothy's Judy Garland. Not Frank Morgan as the Wizard. Not the witches, not Scarecrow or the Tin Man. Not... oh, crap. We got the Cowardly Lion. Only the lamest of them all.

Yep, the Lion was played by Bert Lahr, real name Irving Lahrheim, Jew. And yes, at the end, the Lion does overcome his cowardice, but... come on. We get the lamest character? We'd take the doofus wizard! We'd take the wicked witches! We'd take the munchkins!

OK, maybe not the munchkins.

But we'd definitely take the genetically engineered monkeys.