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    Fred Neulander

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    August 14, 1941 —

    When Rabbi Fred Neulander was put on trial for the murder of his wife in 1994, quite a bit of evidence was paraded before the New Jersey jury.

    The rabbi was having an affair with a woman he met at a funeral (her husband's funeral at which he presided. Oy).

    The Talmudist Neulander had also befriended a member of his own congregation and used that influence to convince the poor shmendrick (Oy. Oy vey!) to murder the good rabbi's wife (Oy! Oy! Oy!).

    And further, as proof of Rabbi Neulander's lack of faith and thus his ability to commit this unholiest of unholies, he had served shrimp at his 1965 wedding to the woman whose corpse now lay before him.

    Wait, what?

    Yes yes yes, the laws of kashrut strictly forbid the eating of the animal that which feedeth on the bottomed sea, but come on! For one thing he was a Reform rabbi for whom, frankly, we're not sure even murder is strictly forbidden (frowned upon, maybe).

    And even if he was the most orthodox of the orthodox it's a g-ddammed shrimp for Hashem's sake! People aren't driven to murder because they ate a shrimp!

    Though on the other hand, we certainly understand killing because you couldn't eat one...

    Verdict: Sadly, a Jew.

    August 17, 2012

    See Also

    David Berkowitz

    Robert Durst

    Jack the Ripper

    Joel Rifkin

    Phil Spector
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