You know what, Paul Giamatti? Fuck you.

Fuck you and this whole stupid fucking profile. Fuck your whiny independent films, your shlubby characters, your vaguely schlimiel-y typecasting, your stupid fucking niche successes.

Fuck your wine country movie media darling (that, come on, wasn't really that fucking good), your baseball commissioner father, and your fucking film supposedly set in our backwater bullshit home town.

Because, fuck, Paul. We wrote a profile about Shel Silverstein feeling bad that he had to wait two lousy years to get a Jew Score while you've been stinking up our queue for six years. SIX!

You've just been sitting there, mocking us. What are we supposed to say, exactly? You're raising your children Jewish. You aren't actually Jewish yourself. It took us five fucking years to write this.

So there. Happy now?

Fucking A.