Elaine Benes introduced America to the word "shiksappeal". Which obviously means that she is not Jewish. One minor problem.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus, the actress that played Elaine, clearly has Jewish heritage; if we were profiling her, the Jew Score would definitely be high. But we're not. We're profiling Elaine.

Now, even though the stars of the show are Jewish themselves (Seinfeld, Alexander), have Jewish heritage (Louis-Dreyfus), or pretend to be Jewish (Michael Richards), only the Jerry Seinfeld character was overtly Jewish on the show (as previously discussed, Costanza was a covert Jew. Duh).

So where were we... Oh yes, Elaine. Brought up Catholic. Celebrates Christmas. Specifically states that she is not Jewish in one episode.

But look at her! Somebody who looks like Louis-Dreyfus can't be anything but a Jew! And she's definitely neurotic! And a terrible dancer! And look at this exclamation point! Here! And here! And here!

Sadly, no amount of exclamation points can salvage Elaine. Maybe wanting her to be a Jew is simply... shiksappeal.