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    Mark-Paul Gosselaar

    Jew Score:



    March 1, 1974 —

    It's not often that everything you believed about the entire world changes. That everything stops to make sense. That you have to take a step back and re-examine...

    We're talking about the world of Saved by the Bell.

    It all made sense. The geek, Screech, was played by the Jewiest of Jews, Dustin Diamond. The popular kid, Zack, was played by the goyest of goys, Mark-Paul Gosselaar. We didn't have to like it, but at least it made sense.

    Well, as it turns out, Diamond, if you want to get technical, is not even Halachically Jewish. His goyishe mother even sent him to a Lutheran school. Gosselaar, believe it or not, is much more Jew than anyone realized. He is at least a quarter, possibly more, coming from a line of Dutch Jews. His great-grandparents died in a concentration camp during World War II.

    So what curve are you going to throw at us next, Saved by the Bell? Is Elizabeth Berkley converting out? Does Mario Lopez come from a line of Spanish crypto-Jews? Is Tiffani-Amber Thiessen really Tali-Ariel Thiestein?

    We wouldn't mind that last one, actually...

    Verdict: Barely a Jew.

    December 28, 2012

    See Also

    Elizabeth Berkley

    Dustin Diamond

    Screech Powers

    Rena Sofer

    Lisa Turtle
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