It had to be Screech, didn't it?

It couldn't be poor man's Ferris Bueller, Zack, or the hunky Slater, right? No, of all the pretty boys it could have been, we got Screech.

Oh, the lot of the Jewish male when the best role model on Saturday morning was not only the dorkiest character on television, but has somehow managed to sink LOWER since his child acting debut.

Isn't it saying something that we'd rather have Danny Boneduce at this point? When everyone else moved on to have real careers (or at least, other acting jobs) and Dustin was STILL playing Screech, it was sad, though predictable. The celebrity boxing stint and reality show dating episode started to give the idea of where things were headed. Now there's the rumor of the sex tape. Yes, we just wrote the words Screech and sex tape in the same profile. Kill us now.

You know what? A 0 is too high for this sad little schlimiel. Where are the negative scores? Maybe he can handle the embarrassment, but we can't. It's time to waive him from the Jew-roster before he destroys the whole team.

Seriously, it just had to be Screech, didn't it?

(Editor's update: See the Mark-Paul Gosselaar profile, linked below.)