May 11, 1904 – January 23, 1989
It's time for another installment of our "Ask Jew or Not Jew" feature, where young readers write in for advice. Here's a letter we recently received.
Dear Jew or Not Jew, I just grew a mustache, and my girlfriend hates it! She says she is gonna leave me unless I shave it off. Should I? — Barry Mendelbaum, 17, Miami Beach, Florida
Isn't it trivial of her to reduce the relationship to facial hair? Perhaps you can kick it up a notch: style it in the manner of Salvador Dali. He never had a shortage of women... and look at that thing!
(In case you are wondering, it's possible that Dali's family had Jewish ancestry. Alas, there is no proof.)
Unless, you know, you really like this girl. So, yes, shave it off. Immediately!
Yours in facial foliage,
Jew or Not Jew.
Verdict: Not a Jew.
January 29, 2014