Seven years and 1800 profiles ago, we wrote about hockey player Mathieu Schneider. Well, the profile wasn't as much about Schneider himself, but rather about the lack of Jewish hockey players. Ha ha, we laughed. Jewish hockey players!

Fast forward to today. Boy, how wrong we were!

Wait, no... we weren't exactly wrong. Oh, sure, we found some hockey Jews, but other than Schneider and a couple of others, they are not exactly successful. There are no award winners here. You can count on one hand the list of Jewish players with a Stanley Cup. And as for the Olympics, that other measure of sporting success...

As far as we can tell, only one Jew has an Olympic gold medal in hockey, and we can't look towards the NHL for the source. (There are a couple of Soviets rumored to be Jewish, but we have our doubts.) Her — that's right, HER — name is Sara DeCosta, and she was a goaltender on the American champion team in 1998. For good measure, she added a silver four years later.

So maybe that's it. Maybe we need to look at FEMALE hockey players to find those successful Jews...

Oh, who are we kidding. Jewish hockey players! Ha ha ha ha ha...