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    Abraham

    Jew Score:
    13

    I5

    O5

    K3

    Imagine, if you will, that you're sitting around, twiddling your thumbs, maybe reading your favorite website about who may or may not be Jewish, when out of nowhere G-d starts talking to you. The G-d. And The G-d doesn't want to know how your day went, or if you're enjoying the most recent JONJ profile. The G-d wants you to sacrifice your son.

    What would you say?

    Well, if you didn't have a son, you might be a little confused. After all, you would think that G-d, of all people, would keep better tabs on your life.

    But, if you did have a son, there are a few possible ways you might respond. For instance, you could question G-d's request. Sure, he's all powerful and all, but even he could have a lapse of judgment. Or perhaps he might be willing to bargain, in which case you could get him to accept a cat instead. Or a hamster.

    Or, you could just flat out refuse. End of story. Sorry, G-d, you might be the Lord almighty, king of the universe, but you're going to have to find yourself another sucker.

    Or, like Abraham, you could agree. Oh, sure, it turned out G-d was only kidding, and it all worked out great for our supposed ancestor. But that doesn't make him any more likable. So, patriarch or not, we can't go higher on that K Score. In fact, we're considering lowering it even further.

    Sorry, Abe.

    Verdict: Jew.

    February 20, 2008

    See Also

    G-d

    Isaac

    Jacob

    Keturah

    Terah
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