It's times like these we're glad we write these things indoors. After all, one can't be struck by lightning inside an office building.

Right?

Oh boy. OK. Here we go.

Is G-d a Jew?

Star of such major hits as the Old Testament and its better received yet supremely inferior sequel, the Big Cheese has had an odd relationship with us Jews.

After all, he did make us his Chosen people. Which ordinarily would suggest at least a kind of affection, if not some sort of brotherhood. But after the slavery, the antisemitism, the diaspora, the holocaust... Oh sure, he also rescued us from all of that, but, well, maybe we would have been better off just taking the dinette set and moving on.

But here we are with Judaism: The Home Game and we have to wonder, is all this misery just part of the package Hashem chose for us? Or was it that the Big Man (or woman. Seriously, don't hurt us.) enjoyed his own Judaism so much he just couldn't help but share it with his favorite non-all powerful peeps?

It's hard to discuss without the kind of in-depth rabbinical digression that just isn't going to happen on a website that features 500 words on Corey Feldman. So we're left with making a thoroughly uneducated (and potentially life threatening) guess.

Therefore, since we don't even know if deities can have religion (or culture, or tradition, or an aunt Ida) and since we can't imagine someone omniscient and omnipotent choosing a moral code that forbids shrimp cocktail AND bacon cheeseburgers, we're forced to conclude the following:

(please don't smite us, please don't smite us, please don't smite us)